HTML tutorial

Top Ten Ways To Tear Down A Platform




Sometimes you just want to destroy something other people made. I mean, why would you want to uplift people and spread positive vibes? Nah, you gotta "get all the way negative," as Vince Staples would say. The thing is, tearing down a platform is hard. So I put together 10 simple tips for tearing down a platform.
 
1. Try to Build Your Own: The first step to tearing down a platform is to try to build your own. It doesn't really matter if you've succeeded or not. You just have to make sure you know how to build your own. Also, never ask the platform you're tearing down for help even if building yours doesn't work. Just waddle in place. If you fail, it'll be easier because you'll have lots of time for attacking other people.

2. Make Sure You're Holier Than Jesus: You have to pretend you're perfect. No, you have to believe that you're perfect. If you're perfect in your own eyes it's way easier to point out everyone else's flaws. I'm not talking about having high self esteem. I'm talking about just straight up arrogant. I don't care if you've failed everything you ever tried or half ass tried something because someone else did it first. Maybe even tell people that someone else wants to be you.

3. Take Everything Out of Context: If the platform isn't problematic just find something out of context. Take something from a live tweeting of a television show, and pretend it was actually about politics. Maybe cut some ten second clips from a podcast episode. That'll really get them.

4. Don't Actually Follow The Platform: Make sure when you tell people what the platform is doing you have no clue what you're talking about. Don't worry about what they're doing now. Don't even look at the platform for a few months before making unfounded claims. It's important to be behind on current events when hoping to gather people to your cause.

5. Keep Bringing Up Old Shit: The best thing to do is paint the enemy platform as problematic. If you can't find anything problematic, I've already said take things out of context. But, it's also important that these things are from years ago. Make sure you really make use of Google or Twitter's search function. When asked what the problem is, make sure to never explain, and just keep using that one old thing over and over again even if nobody rides with you but your three best friends.

7. Subtweets Only: When trying to tear down a platform make sure to do it in subtweets. Never address the platform with your issues. Maybe tweet for a few years in the dark. Maybe, you should scrape your brain for reasons that other platforms shouldn't associate with them. Actually scratch that, even if the platform you're trying to tear down never asked these people for help, try to convince them to release a statement bashing them. It probably won't work, but do it anyway.

8. Play Victim When Called Out: If someone finds out you've been talking greasy on the low for years and asks you about it, play it off. Pretend they're an angry fan of yours. Pretend they've been stalking you and have a vendetta. Even if they have dozens of tweets going back several years, pretend you did nothing wrong. Just pretend they're attacking you. It doesn't matter if you've been talking wild, even if they dare to respond, just fall out and act like they murdered you. When they stop responding make sure you keep going for hours in silence.

9. Offer to Talk It Out: Long after you've done your damage offer to talk out like you've done nothing wrong. Tell them to DM you so you can talk like adults. Even when you've done the exact opposite of what adults have done by never directly addressing them. Pretend you've always just wanted to talk. Just never talk before this.

10. Just Lie: This is the most important part. You just have to tell lies from the start. Lie and say the platform is just stealing some kind of culture. Say the platform murdered your puppy. Say the platform stole your ideas. Tell the world they're teaming up with Donald Trump, vote republican and have a secret coffee house where they talk about hating black women. It doesn't matter, just lie. You lie and when confronted on those lies and why you're doing it or where your proof is, just ignore those questions. Call them a coward instead because that'll get them, that's the Trump card right there.

You can hear Darrell on the CP Time and Powerbomb Jutsu podcasts. He also plays classic arcade games on The Cabinet. You can also check out his playthrough of Sleeping Dogs or Skyrim
Darrell S.

Hey, I write stuff, a lot of different stuff, that's all.

Post a Comment

Previous Post Next Post

Facebook

Ultra Black History