Don't be Flying Out Like You Stupid

Sometimes love isn't easy to find right where you are. People reach out on the internet and find love sometimes. It's a crazy thing when strangers thousands of miles away are able to connect so strongly. That love connection is wild and it gives people hope that their soulmate is one DM away. It's not always that pretty tho, because sometimes it's not love. Some people are out here flying out and looking like dumb asses.

This goes both ways, men and women keep flying out, we see it on Twitter at least once a month. Recently we saw the guy fly 3000 miles to meet with a woman after lying on his bank account just to get recorded, called fat and broke. They both look dumb, he lied about his cash, but she had him buy two plane tickets and a hotel room after he arrived and learned she had another man living with her. Just plain foolishness on both. But, how can the friend call someone else broke when he's couch surfing and driving a 98 Ford Escort with the fabric seats? Couldn't be me.

What about the woman who flew out to meet a guy. After she smoked almost a pound of his weed while he was away in class she started acting weird. So he refused to return to his apartment until she left. She complained that he was wrong because she didn't have money for a hotel. What about the fact that in just a few short hours you scared a person to the point that they would not go home until you left. Man was just standing at the end of the block wondering if you left yet.

The point is, there's way too many people flying out and looking stupid when it doesn't work out. People are letting bank accounts and genitals make choices that the heart should be making. They expect everything to be perfect but it just doesn't happen that way all the time and they don't have a backup plan. So while they're on Twitter trying to get sympathy both people are getting laughed at because there's usually steps both parties could have made to avoid the situation.

It's completely okay to fly out to meet someone. You just have to be careful about it. I've made a quick list of things you need to have in order before you go flying all over the world:

1. Make sure YOUR money is right: If things go south, have cash for a hotel and flight home, don't get stuck because you depended on someone else.
2. If you have a roommate, mention that: Don't be telling people it's cool if they stay with you and your roommate says otherwise because you didn't mention it to them.
3. Keep your genitals in your pants: I'm not saying don't have sex, I'm just saying keep it in your pants until you've been there more than 20 minutes or you'll be looking like a fool with your pants on the ground.
4. Don't get catfished: Do some video chat, it's available on computers, phones, game systems, tablets and a ton of other stuff. Make sure they are who they say they are. If they don't want to video chat even once to prove they are who they say they are, they on some BS, that's bullshit.
5. Do some research: Don't be flying out to meet a future serial killer do some research. Check for criminal history and stuff.
6. Talk to them for more than two months: You don't really know someone after two months
7. Don't do drugs: You might not realize you're weird on drugs and creep them out
8. GET YOUR MONEY RIGHT FOR REAL: Don't be out there talking about big bucks then when things go wrong tweeting stuff like "I'm 19 and a thousand miles from home."
9. Tell someone where you're at: don't be having your family looking for you on the news just for you to tweet the local news station "I ain't lost, I just don't fuck with them."
10. Know where you are: It's one thing to say you're going to California, but are you going to San Francisco, Oakland or Temecula? Do you have an address where you'll be? Don't be just guessing, turn your damn location.

I'm not saying every fly out ends in disaster. I'm just saying don't fly out without a plan. Don't be looking like a dumb ass and tweeting for sympathy and help. I'm going to laugh at you. I don't care if you're a 30 year old man borrowing money from his mom to get home because you blew all your money in 3 days or a 19 year old woman who thought people would just be cool with you doing all their drugs and eating all their food while they were away. I'm going to laugh at you, not a sensible chuckle, but a full blown laugh. I'm going to laugh hard. Karma may catch up to me for that, but when it does, I'll tell Karma why I'm laughing and then we'll have a really good laugh together. 

You can hear Darrell on the CP Time and Powerbomb Jutsu podcasts. He also plays classic arcade games on The Cabinet. You can also check out his playthrough of Sleeping Dogs or Skyrim

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