Peter Parker is Trash

Peter Parker, Spider-Man he's a legendary hero. Bitten by a radioactive spider he was given the power to do anything a spider can do. After his Uncle Ben's death Peter became Spider-Man because "with great power comes great responsibility." Well, you already know how this series goes. Peter Parker is trash. I'm going to give you 20 reasons why he's trash. Then I'll probably get a little hate and some request.

1. His villains are trash. An old man with wings (Vulture) a gang member with tasers (Shocker) a scientist who can't stop taking drugs (the lizard) an obsessed hunter (Kraven).

2. Majority of his villains are named after animals. Rhino, Scorpion, Doctor Octopus, Grizzly etc. You get the point.

3. He sacrificed his marriage to Mary Jane to revive Aunt May

4. Aunt May

5. Doc Ock was a better Peter Parker

6. Why you always lying?

7. There is no Peter Parker bad luck. Peter is a chronic underachiever and he does it on purpose. "Hey Peter you're smart enough to get a full ride through any college," how does he respond "Nah, just gonna take pics and go to community college."

8. Uncle Ben's death is his fault

9. 1960's Spider-Man is racist. Just ask Miles Morales and 2014 Peter Parker

10. He kind of is a menace. Property damage, increase in criminal activity, police are lazy

11. He takes photos of himself and sells than. He's a for-profit hero.

12. Stop complaining so much. Doc Ock showed how easy you have it. Peter complains about stupid stuff. "I don't have a time for relationships." Yeah, Doc Ock did it. "Aunt May is old and injured" Doc Ock handled it. "I'm too poor to pay my rent" Doc Ock got a pay raise.

13. He talks as much as Deadpool and isn't nearly as funny.

14. If you have to explain the joke it's not a good joke. Even I realize that.

15. He's so emo. It's like he never left that My Chemical Romance and cutting phase.

16. 5 Movies in the last 10 years and they're all trash. Now he's getting a 6th. Damn, let any other Spider-Man or Woman have the role. Get out of here Peter. This is ridiculous. Who do you think you are? Batman?

17. HOW DO YOU GET CLONED SO MANY TIMES

18. He never listens when people give him warnings. "Hey, Peter, I know it looks bad but we're keeping this girl locked up for the good of many worlds" how does Peter respond? "Screw you old man. I'm Spider-Man." Then he freed her and we have Spider-Verse. Not even the first time he ignored advice. Remember Connors said "Hey maybe that symbiote is bad," what does he do "Screw you lizard breath. I'm Spider-Man." Then he bonded with it and hurt it. He created Venom just because the symbiote wants him back.

19. He's a jerk

20. He complains about being a loser and how hard his life is when in fact he has a better life than most people. He has a good job doing something he loves but complains he doesn't make enough money. Yet, majority of the time he lives with his aunt by choice, not a lack of funds. He has Mary Jane who is head over heels in love with him but he sold the love to the devil to revive an old woman who didn't even want to come back. It upsets him that other heroes think he's irresponsible, but he is.

You can hear Darrell on the CP Time and Powerbomb Jutsu podcasts. He also plays classic arcade games on The Cabinet
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